Monday, May 09, 2005

My First Mother's Day

Sponge cake is pointless. There's nothing chocolatey about it at all. I shall never buy it again for mother's day.

O is 16 weeks now and delighting us with her giggles. I feel so much more connected to other parents and children than I ever have, like suddenly I'm hooked into life rather than just observing it and writing about it. It's a very real, present feeling. So strange for me who is more comfortable being outsider / observer. Also am forced to be physically present for someone else. Have always been so involved in the intellectual, cerebral aspect that it is refreshing to be grounded in the physical (am aware of the irony of me analysing it).

I went to visit a friend in the maternity hospital today. She had a little girl on Thursday. Tiny, 2.6kgs. Can't believe O was that little. So sweet and scrunched up. My friend is so funny, bombarding the midwives with questions. Then asking me everything, as if if I tell her all the answers she'll pass the motherhood exam. I explained to her about the startle reflex. She just thought the bub was cold.

This time is so fleeting and hard to clutch onto.

Today we went to a grower's market and R ate snails. I admit I tried some snail pate. I told R not to ever mention it again as the thought is making me sick. So, instead of talking he made the snail symbol. I have now banned the snail symbol. R argues that symbols can't be banned. (Incidentally, also on the banned list are the words "Khlav Kalash" from The Simpsons episode where they go to New York. R kept asking me to make him some Khlav Kalash. After 4 days I banned it. He has not found a symbol for Khlav Kalash).


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