Yeeeehah!

KABOOM! An explosion the likes of none I have seen before. Scarcely had the little girl digested her sugared diuretic when the bomb dropped. A week's worth of gastric innards surged out of her mini backside. I've never been prouder. Or happier that I have a badly blocked nose. She had poo from her nose to her toes. I spent twenty minutes cleaning her up then she started again. The second wave was less intense but equally messy. My fancy croched jumper (have been trying to curb my habit of wearing only daggy pathetic housewife tracksuits) now has dappled smatterings of mustard coloured shmeer on it. But no matter. She pooed. Oh glorious day! She pooed!

Also, was offered a jobette for a week helping develop a series for TV. I told them I'd get back to them once I'd worked out if I could get child care. Then started the monstrous job of trying to organise babysitters. Seems I dilly dallied for too long because they phoned me back a few hours later and said they'd offered it to someone else who didn't have domestic responsibilities and who would be able to focus their energies entirely on the job.

What the fuck? Who do they think I am? Some idiotic housewife obsessed with the bowel movements of her child?... Oops.