Monday, October 10, 2005

Rather Me than You

When the frig did I become the person other people are glad not to be?

It’s awful. A few pseudo-friends have said that every time they start complaining about how their kids won’t eat/sleep/perform on demand like circus elephants, they think of me and are grateful for what they’ve got.


Today it reached a new low. A pseudo-friend told me her child is forever complaining, so to put the child in her place she tells the child she should count her blessings she’s not like little O, who has to go to hospital all the time and whose mommy is going to have two more babies before little O even has enough time to enjoy being an only child.

Fuck you very much, I thought. Glad I can be your worst-case scenario. I hope your child finds horrible new ways to make your life difficult.

One of the reasons I was initially reluctant to tell anyone about O’s bowel condition was because I didn’t want them to pathologise her. Yes, she has a medical problem but she also has a wicked laugh, beautiful knowing eyes and the sweetest nature. Plus she’s clever and funny and lovely. And has big monkey ears that hear all. But people are starting to look at her with poor dear eyes. All they see is a girl with a bowel problem who may also have a spinal problem.

I’ve been thinking lots about the shaven headed kids I see every time I take O to hospital. Even from a distance they seem to have CANCER written on them. How crap must it be to constantly be identified by your disease? I hope their parents never run into my pseudo-friend.

And today a real friend told me she’s pregnant again. She has a daughter O’s age. My internal reaction – is she nuts? That’s so soon! So I guess that means I am officially in Denial-ville about my impending brood.

Come in.
It’s safe and warm here.
And I can’t hear anyone telling me they’re glad they’re not me.


Blogger Calliope said...

those women should be shot. what evil, awful things to say. Man, so sorry there as such assholes on the planet.

11:03 pm  
Blogger sbs said...

not glad am not you. not glad S is not like O.

8:21 pm  
Blogger surly girl said...

i'm with you on this - fuck 'em all. where does anyone get off offering your child up as a reason to feel grateful? that's just spiteful.

7:13 pm  
Blogger Urban Chick said...

i know sth of this feeling: the whole crikey-look-at-them-and-quit-complainin' look

some days i hammed it up in a bid to look heroic, other days i just thought 'oh, b*gger off'

ditch pseudo-friend(s) quick- it's the only way...

7:29 am  

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